Those old feelings; the ones we had as kids on Sundays before going back to school for another shit week of bullying and mayhem. Only now it's work and bullying and mayhem. It can't go on and mustn't. This week, in a kind of macabre pantomime of theatre I have several meetings to discuss various issues of labour; workshops about the banal, meetings with obscure representatives from outlining groups and harsh meetings with staff about behaviour and finances. None of this is going to be easy, far from it. And all this against a backdrop of the Brexit Vote on Tuesday and a possible vote of no confidence in the government by a party that although I support I already have no confidence in should they be successful. They are simply not representing my views - at all. And are displaying an arrogance that I'm seeing in my workforce. Doesn't auger well for the near future. I try to be positive but it's not easy.

5th Jan 2019 All this talk of spiritual improvement; moving away from just working out, I've been doing it for years but I'm doing it seriously. The stuff I do works and it's time that I started recognizing that. I need to get back on line with meditation and relaxation, cycling and going to the gym when I want not when there are classes. Tai Chi and I Ching are coming back into fashion as is reading and writing and getting in touch with people.

Good Morning Blog, Today is Saturday and I'm at work waiting to go to the gym. I've opened up the building in Victoria so that cleaners can get in. Didn't sleep well; chips and bad beer - and of course chickpea curry with roast squash, yummy. I love my wife and my life I just wish that sometimes the life part could be a bit easier than it is. I suppose I have the power to do something about that but I'm inherently lazy. Don't know why, I just am. If I write 8,8,7,8,7,7 would anyone know what it meant? What about --- --- - - --- - - - - Hexagram 53 Development. This tells me more in a few lines than anything else. Inner calm, step by step.

January 4th 2019 Royal Opera House first thing for morning meeting. Nothing unusual there. Yesterday was a bit of a different kettle of fish. I met up with Dean Rees to collect his laptop and phone as he's moved onto other areas. We had a quick drink which was very pleasant. It's really difficult to know what's going on with anything anymore; one minute you think you have a grasp of it and the second you don't.

January 1st 2019. An inauspicious day if ever there was one. Neighbour problems; as usual but I'm not letting that bother me too much anymore. After all, nothing lasts forever, does it? Today I've decided that this year will be different; I'm not drinking anymore and I'm going to give up cheese. Fuck, did I just say that and yes I did. I have to keep up my diary of books read and I'm about to do that now and then Celine and myself are going out. More later.

End of Year

I haven't done this for ages; written anything in my blog and I probably won't carry on with it anyway but I need to be doing something and I thought that, seeing as I already had a blog, I should resurrect it. Not so. It would appear that things have changed a bit since my last time around and I may have to pay now. We shall see. I'm not even certain that I can see my previous posts. I've just read a post from 2015 talking about time and the First Fifteen Lives of Harry August. It start off that I've read three books this year, remembering that this is January and that the books are all science fiction. This week I've read four books - nearly of which are either sf or historic. I'm not going to go into which ones - more of that later. I feel that what I want to write about is something other than a book review as noble as that is I want more. I want to track real positive change and not something that is not of me. I have to admit to being a lapsed meditatator and this is something that I need to amend quickly if I'm to get back on track. So many things to do and so little time to do them in. How will I cope?

All this talk of bloggers making headway with writing about healthy eating leaves me feeling slightly uneasy.